10 ways to make December 2020 your best Christmas ever (cont’d)

SINGLES MATTER with ChinyereDistinguished

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Merry Christmas!!!

By this time next week, Christmas day would be over and it’d be boxing day – the day for unwrapping gifts. Have you decided on those to give some gifts to this season? It’s part of what we discussed last week. I sincerely hope that you implemented/are implementing the steps I shared with you last week.

Moving on, let’s talk about the remaining steps.


Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. It’s a season of love, of joy, of peace, of kindness, of sharing, of reflections.

It doesn’t matter what the society has changed the season to represent, Christ is the core reason for the season. He came that you and I might have abundant Life. So as the whole world celebrates this season, take some time to be by yourself – away from the crowd and noise, reflect, think and give yourself a treat for the goals you aced this year. No matter how little.

You can choose to sleep in, go to the spa, go to the cinema, read a novel, go swimming, or buy yourself a gift. Whatever you choose, be sure that Christ is glorified in all your activities.


The Christmas season comes with a lot of spending, including impulsive spending. Many people get carried away with the grove of the moment and forget that after Christmas comes New Year. They forget that the new year comes with a lot of bills: rent, school fees, dues, transport fare, etc.

As a diligent youth, it doesn’t matter if you’re the one footing your bills or someone else is paying them for you; one of the characteristics of a responsible Single is financial intelligence and wise financial decisions. Hence, right in the peak of Christmas when everyone else is spending and spending, it is important to work with a budget and also put away some cash in savings. Do this now and thank me in the New Year when others begin to complain about how long January is.


According to the Concise Concord dictionary, “Forgive” means to pardon, to waive any negative feeling or desire for punishment.

In 2016 when I started my SFF journey, one of the things that weighed me down was bitterness and anger against my ex-fiancé. I felt betrayed and taken advantage of, so I sometimes caught myself unconsciously praying for something bad to happen to him. I also frequently berated myself for being so gullible, so foolish, so careless with my heart.

It took God and some conscious soul-searching to bring these to my awareness before I repented and deliberately forgave him, forgave myself and asked God for forgiveness. I also prayed for grace not to harbour any resentment, hatred or bitterness towards him. It wasn’t easy, but by consistently praying for his well-being whenever thoughts of him and our relationship crossed my mind, it became easier.

Unforgiveness is one of the strongest weapons the devil uses to keep us stagnant and stuck in the past. You may think you have moved on, but any little trigger can bring all the unexpressed negative emotions to the fore and take you right back to where you were in the past.

No one can go far or attain true fulfilment while harbouring unforgiveness against anyone, including self. To live a fruitful and fulfilled life, and to make this year’s Christmas your best one ever, you MUST learn to forgive.

Forgive your past.

Forgive those who hurt you, deliberately or otherwise.

Forgive yourself.

Forgive, forgive, FORGIVE.

So as you read this, pause and think about anyone you need to forgive. And release them and yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness.

If it’s someone you can reach to forgive via sms, call, or a physical meeting, please do so. If you can’t handle that yet, forgive them in your heart and deliberately pray for God’s blessing over them.

To err is human, to forgive is also human (I learned this from the movie “Chief Daddy”).

I’ll pause here so you can implement these three steps. We’ll continue next week.

PS: The essence of sharing these steps is to push you to do the things that you wouldn’t normally do, so that you can get the results you desire. If you want to make this year’s Christmas your best one ever, then you need to diligently carry out each step.

Till I come your way again next week.

Merry Christmas in advance!

Chinyere Anoke

Chinyere Anoke
Chinyere Anoke

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