Throwback: When is the right age to get married?
SINGLES MATTER with ChinyereDistinguished
A number of youths have asked me, “Distinguished, since a single should not be bothered or anxious about getting married before a certain age or within a certain age bracket, what age is the best time to get married?”
My answer is this: LEARN TO HEAR GOD FOR YOURSELF.
When it comes to marriage, there is no “one age fits all”. King David got married at the age of 17; Joseph the dreamer got married at the age of 30; Isaac got married at the age of 40; and Jesus Christ never married at all.
Same applies to you and me; there is no generic time/age within which we all must be married. We both might be 25 years old and God is instructing me to go launch a product in the global market, while He is asking you to leave Singlehood and get married. The most important thing is for each of us to be in sync with what God is saying to us per time.
In the secular education system, we can have people of different ages in the same class; same goes for the marriage institution as well. However, just like in the academic system where there is a best fit age range for each class, same can be said for marriage, too. Our reproductive organs and systems are divinely created to function at optimal level within a certain age range. Especially for ladies, conception, pregnancy and delivery, are best done between ages 20 and 35, when fertility is at its peak. So humanly speaking, it is best to plan for marriage within that age range, for easier procreation.
That said, we all know it doesn’t always work that way. So the biological clock shouldn’t be the primary determinant of when you should get married. Let God guide your decision of when to say “Yes, I Do” to be someone’s spouse.
Also, remember that biological procreation is not the only thing God meant when He said, “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth”. As Singles, we should be replenishing the earth with our gifts, talents and skills, before we get to marriage and add biological reproduction to our fruitfulness.
Please, don’t let the biological clock, anxiety, pressure, loneliness, insecurity, or any other wrong premise, be the reason or the determinant of when you should get married. One of my friends puts it this way: “When it comes to marriage, I’m in a hurry and I’m not in a hurry. I’m in a hurry because early marriage is good and I currently desire to be married. And getting married now will make my future plans fall into line. However, I’m not in a hurry because I wouldn’t because of all that, rush things with anyone and end up with a bad marriage.”
I couldn’t agree more! This phase of singlehood is a time to take responsibility for your personal relationship with God (like we discussed few weeks ago) and begin to hear Him for yourself. Stop depending on preachers, seers, oracles, spiritualists, prophets, babalawos, your parents, friends, the society or the social media, to hear God on your behalf. It is God who puts the desire for marriage in us, so trust Him with your desires and plans, and allow Him to direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thine ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
If you’ve ever created or done anything in your life based on God’s leading, you will know from experience that there is a prompting and inner knowing for every major decision or giant step you have to take. Understand that there is a divine timing for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Pay attention to how God speaks to you, and then obey. Pay attention to what He says to do per time, and then do it. That way, when He says it’s time to get married, you will know it. And hearing it from others will only just be a confirmation of what you already know.
Got any question on this? Please ask in the comment section.
Till I come your way again next week, remember to stay safe and stay connected to the only source of true love – God.
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