Dear single, as the year draws to a close…

SINGLES MATTER with ChinyereDistinguished

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In December 2016, I joined a group of Singles led by my friend Gabriella Ifeoma Modebe (nee Ekesiobi) for a group retreat at Alone With God Camp, Kwali, Abuja. The retreat lasted for just one night and one day, but it left an indelible mark in my spiritual and physical life. Prior to that time, I didn’t know that an individual, especially a Single, or a group of Singles could go on a retreat just to seek the face of God without it being organized by a church.

After that group experience, I desired to have my own personal retreat in that same venue as many of the other attendees testified of coming there alone or with a friend in time past and receiving results to the prayers they had tabled on that prayer “mountain”.

Fast forward to January 2018, I finally created time to go on a personal retreat. I mapped out two weeks for this, and in that two weeks, I lodged at the Alone With God Camp. My purpose of going there was to seek the face of God, receive His direction for my life, take stock of the previous year and plan for the new year. So  during these two weeks, I removed my regular SIM card from my phone and used a new one (just so I could reach my close family and friends at intervals) to avoid distractions. I also logged out of my social media accounts.

Amongst other things, it was during this personal retreat that I prayed and dealth with the spirit of marital delay in my family. My eldest had gotten married in 2009 and uptil that 2018, neither my elder sister nor I was able to get married. It was on that retreat that while praying, I received revelation and victory concerning that situation. Few months later, my elder sister got engaged and consequently got married in November 2018.

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In January 2019, I again went for a personal retreat. This time for three weeks at a camp in Calabar. Again, I stood in the gap for my family and received revelation and victory over certain issues that had been a hindrance in my father’s house. It was also at that retreat that I received clarity about whom to marry. The very next month, February, I got engaged. I had my introduction in October 2019 and we did our wedding (traditional and white) in February 2020.

In December 2019, I went on a one-week personal retreat in a retreat camp at one of the villages in Anambra. And again, I received direction for the year 2020 and victory over the issues I tabled to God.

Now, as a fairly newly married woman (this is my ninth month in marriage), I do not have the luxury to go for a personal retreat this December or in January as I have done in the last two years. However, you as a Single still has full control of your time and can schedule to have at least two days of a personal retreat. No pastor, no mentor, no friend. Just you taking out time to seek the face of God, receive direction for the new year, map out your vision for the new season of your life, all in a place of solitude with minimum distractions.

I personally prefer having my personal retreat in a prayer camp, instead of a hotel, due to three main reasons.

One, the ground is already an open portal between heaven and earth because people constantly come there to pray.

Two, if I get weary or distracted, I easily see others on the camp who are praying or carrying out other spiritual activities and I quickly refocus on why I am there.

Three, it is more affordable than staying in a hotel and has less distractions.

So dear Single, as 2020 draws closer to it’s end, consciously schedule into your plans a period of personal retreat. Things you can do during a personal retreat include:

  1. Intense worship and Thanksgiving.
  2. Dedicated Bible study.
  3. Strategic prayers.
  4. Read up on those books you’ve been procrastinating on.
  5. Vision boarding for the new year and even the next 5, 10 years of your life, business, ministry, etc.
  6. Quality rest.

That’s not to mention that it’s also a great opportunity to meet and network with others.

PS: If you can, which you should, include fasting to most of your days at the retreat. It sharpens and heightens your spirit man. Also, listen to audios or watch videos that are related to your purpose for going on a personal retreat. This will help and empower you to pray more strategically. I often listen to Apostle Joshua Selman’s sermons while on a retreat.

Do you have any questions or comments on this subject? Please share with us in the comments.

I love you!


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