By Nchetachi Chukwuajah
A tweet by an X user, Lady B, with the username @mobola_ade, has generated a buzz and sparked reactions about the wives’ duty to participate in cooking activities during family events.
The tweet, posted on Monday, October 27, was a reference to an earlier picture shared by @lollypeezle, showing a group of women, presumably wives of family members engaged in different cooking activities during a birthday celebration.
The X user, writing to her future husband, stated that she would not be participating in cooking activities at family functions with other wives of the family, popularly known as Iyawo ile, saying instead, the family should get professional caterers.
The post, which has garnered over 3,600 reposts, read, “Dear future husband, I’m not doing Iyawo Ile. Let your people get professional caterers. T for tenks.”
In response to the now-viral post, @lollypeezle said Iyawo Iles are not necessarily immersed in the cooking activities alone, as they get help from kind neighbours and friends, urging individuals to have selfless people around them during family events.
He said: “This picture, I took it during the cooking for my mum’s 70th. My wife was the only Iyawo Ile there supervising cooks and cutting carrots. No one will use Iyawo Ile as cook for parties. Stop creating problems where there’s none. We still eat meats we stole during this cooking sha.”
He went further to add: “Let me even burst your bubble more. This light skinned woman in the picture is not even our Iyawo Ile neither is she the caterer, she’s our neighbour. All my neighbours came out to help the caterers that day. Just have selfless people around you. Things like this won’t bother you.”
The tweet has since gone viral, with netizens debating whether or not wives should engage in cooking activities at family functions.
Those in favour of it stressed that it fosters unity, camaraderie and strong filial bond among wives, while also affording them the opportunity to share secrets, gossips and light banter.
@Olu_Iwaa, who said such duties should be encouraged, said, “If you can’t do Iyawo Ile, it means you’re not sure of your cooing skill. This is where some ambitious women discover their passion for cooking skills. Today, they are now one of the best caterers and event planners. Everyone with their choice though.”
Obaobirin Aderonke, tweeting @mindshiftorg, added, “Some of you are smart by half, thank God for people like me, I will educate you. Iyawo Ile cooking together is one of our beautiful traditions in Yorubaland where wives get to know one another better, exchange ideas and connect.
“Our mother used to look forward to it because it gave them room to express themselves with themselves. They offer advice and support one another. They begin to see themselves as sisters from there. This tradition happens mostly twice in a year depending.
“Yes, you can still have caterers do the heavy lifting, but being present at cooking gathering as wives in a family creates a strong bond among them, which unites the family at large. No wonder families are scattered because women like you feel too big to do the barest minimum of uniting the family because you have small coins in your account.
“Aside this, as a responsible woman, how can you feel comfortable allowing your children and husband eat food you didn’t supervise in a family gathering? I must be honest, our women need to do better. This lack of sense of responsibility and accountability has to stop.”
Lending her voice in support, @oluwathobby08 tweeted, “Even some neighbours will do pass the caterer and Iyawo Ile. And Owo Iyawo Ile is entering behind the back. Sometimes I look forward to the gathering to gist and laugh. It’s crazy how some people are making noise about this. It’s not that deep for God’s sake.”
@Maryhann_Oye wrote, “Na online all of una dey do shakara. Na our Iyawo Ile(s) teach me how to turn semo in big pot, I taught them several ways we can cook fried rice. It’s okay if you don’t want to do something like this but that doesn’t mean those that do this are Mumu.”
@AfolabiBB further noted, “One of the best moments of being at home (family house) connecting with many family members, new wives, newborns, distant uncles, aunties, cousins; nothing more other than vibes and gisting. Even with professional caterers, Iyawo Ile would still sit around to monitor cooking and assist with other activities while gistimg. Unless you don’t do such in your family. There’s absolutely nothing bad here.”
@_StudioCelia noted, “The beautiful thing about Iyawo Iles is that they’re very happy to do this. Every in-law must drop something before leaving.”
On the other hand, some netizens said such practice should be discouraged, noting it as wives slaving for the rest of the family instead of getting to participate and enjoy the family events they are attending.
They insisted that families should instead engage the services of professional caterers for cooking at family events.
One of such persons, @Belbeljum wrote, “I want people to abolish all this kind Iyawo Ile duties. Get a caterer.
@daud_abdulazeez added, “Y’all can cry. Even as a man, I’m not letting my wife get close to this. Never. I detest that stress and all the struggles in the name of Iyawo Ile. Make family gather money pay caterers nah.”
@The_MelaninPop wrote, “Iyawo Ile ke? Caterer will send invoice joor.”
