Odesola JF., PhD
There is a time to speak, and there is also a time to pause, listen and allow the people directly involved in an issue to speak for themselves.
I have read the response titled “My Response to Pastor Titilayo Akindayomi,” and I believe there is a simple principle that we should not lose sight of in all of this:
Nobody stays outside the palace and dictates what should be done in the palace.
It is an old-fashioned way of saying something very simple: you may have an opinion about a house, but the people living in that house also have a right to decide what happens inside it.
You can stand outside and see what is happening. You can make observations. You can offer advice. You can even disagree with what you think you are seeing.
But there is a difference between offering an opinion and assuming responsibility for decisions that do not belong to you.
That distinction is important here.
If Pastor Titilayo Adewale Akindayomi has chosen to speak for herself and clarify what she said, I believe the decent thing to do is to listen to her and allow her words to speak for themselves.
If she says she did not ask for a university, institution, building, programme or anything else to be named after her father, then we should respect that clarification.
If someone else believes that naming an institution after Rev. Josiah Olufemi Akindayomi is a good idea, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Say it as your own idea.
Own it.
There is nothing embarrassing about saying, “This is what I think.”
There is nothing wrong with saying, “In my opinion, the founder’s legacy deserves greater institutional recognition.”
There is nothing wrong with making a recommendation.
What is problematic is allowing one’s personal opinion to become so intertwined with another person’s statement that people begin to believe that the other person said what she never said.
That is where unnecessary controversy begins.
And sometimes, controversy begins simply because we fail to make one important distinction:
What did the person actually say, and what am I saying?
Those are not always the same thing.
If Pastor Titilayo said “some top pastors,” then let us quote her as saying “some top pastors.”
If she did not say “some RCCG pastors,” then we should not put those words into her mouth because they fit our argument better.
Words matter.
Context matters.
Intent matters.
And people’s names matter.
A person’s reputation is not something we should handle casually.
The late Rev. Josiah Olufemi Akindayomi is an important figure in the history of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. His contribution, sacrifices, ministry and legacy deserve recognition. His story is part of the story of RCCG.
That is not in dispute.
But precisely because his legacy is important, we must be careful about how we discuss it.
Legacy should not become a battlefield.
History should not become a weapon.
And the name of a respected family should not be pulled into a controversy simply because someone outside the family has a personal idea about what ought to be done.
Let us be honest with ourselves.
Sometimes, we become so passionate about what we believe should happen that we forget to ask ourselves whether it is actually our responsibility to make it happen.
You may believe that a university should be named after Rev. Akindayomi.
Fine.
You may believe there should be a monument in his honour.
Fine.
You may believe his contribution should be given greater prominence in the historical documentation of RCCG.
Fine.
Write about it.
Advocate for it.
Recommend it to the appropriate people.
But after making the recommendation, there must also be the humility to say:
“I have made my suggestion. Those responsible will decide.”
That is where wisdom comes in.
Because not every good idea must become a command.
Not every recommendation must be accepted.
And not every opinion must become policy.
This brings us back to the statement:
Nobody stays outside and dictates what should be done in the palace.
The palace has its own leadership.
The palace has its own processes.
The palace has its own history.
The palace has people carrying responsibilities that those outside may not fully understand.
There may be conversations taking place behind closed doors that the person outside knows nothing about.
There may be considerations that are not available to the public.
There may be reasons why a particular decision has not been made.
And sometimes, wisdom is simply knowing that you do not know everything.
That is not weakness.
That is humility.
This is not an argument for silence.
Nobody is saying people should not express their opinions.
Speak.
Write.
Recommend.
Question.
Disagree if you must.
But respect boundaries.
There is a difference between having a voice and having authority.
You can have a voice without having the authority to make the final decision.
You can make a recommendation without having the right to demand that it be implemented.
You can disagree without becoming disrespectful.
You can defend your position without speaking for someone else.
And you can be passionate about an issue without making yourself the owner of the issue.
In my humble opinion, the simplest way this particular matter could have been presented was:
“This is what Pastor Titilayo said, and this is what I personally believe should be done.”
That would have been clear.
That would have been honest.
That would have allowed everyone to know where Pastor Titilayo’s position ended and where another person’s personal opinion began.
Sometimes, that is all that is required.
Clarity.
No drama.
No unnecessary controversy.
No attempt to make another person carry the weight of an opinion that belongs to you.
And if Pastor Titilayo has now clarified her position, why not simply allow that clarification to stand?
Why continue to debate what she meant when she has already told us what she meant?
Sometimes, we need to learn when to stop.
Not every disagreement needs another response.
Not every response needs another response.
And not every social media argument deserves our energy.
There are too many real problems around us.
Families are struggling.
Young people are searching for direction.
People are dealing with economic hardship.
Churches are dealing with genuine challenges.
Society is dealing with insecurity, poverty, corruption and a crisis of values.
There is enough work to do.
Perhaps we should spend more time building than arguing.
More time serving than proving a point.
More time preserving history than fighting over who has the right interpretation of history.
More time honouring people than creating unnecessary controversy around their names.
This is why I say, with all due respect:
Please, mind your business.
I know that phrase can sound harsh. But sometimes there is wisdom in minding one’s business.
Minding your business does not mean you are indifferent.
It means you understand boundaries.
It means you know when something belongs to you and when it does not.
It means you can care without taking control.
It means you can advise without imposing.
It means you can speak without assuming authority.
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:15 that we should speak “the truth in love.”
That instruction is deeper than it appears.
Truth matters.
But so does love.
Conviction matters.
But so does humility.
Knowledge matters.
But so does wisdom.
Passion matters.
But so does restraint.
Because even when we are right, the way we communicate our rightness can create another wrong.
Let us therefore honour Rev. Josiah Olufemi Akindayomi without turning his legacy into a controversy.
Let us respect Pastor Titilayo Adewale Akindayomi enough to allow her to speak for herself.
Let us distinguish between what she actually said and what another person believes.
Let personal recommendations remain personal recommendations.
Let those entrusted with leadership make the decisions that belong to them.
And let those of us outside the palace recognise something very important:
Seeing the palace from outside does not mean you know everything happening inside it.
You may see the walls.
You may see the gates.
You may hear voices coming from inside.
You may even know some of the people living there.
But you are still outside.
And being outside should make us humble.
There is nothing wrong with making a suggestion.
There is nothing wrong with expressing an opinion.
There is nothing wrong with disagreeing.
But there is a better way to do all of these things.
You can disagree without disrespecting.
You can advocate without appropriating another person’s voice.
You can recommend without demanding.
You can speak without pretending to be the authority.
And sometimes, the most mature thing a person can say is:
“This is my opinion. I have said it. Those responsible will decide what to do with it.”
That is humility.
That is wisdom.
That is order.
And perhaps that is what we need most at this moment.
The history of RCCG deserves to be preserved carefully.
The founders deserve honour.
The pioneers deserve recognition.
The sacrifices of those who laid the foundation deserve to be remembered.
And future generations deserve to know the truth about how God used ordinary people to build something that has become a global Christian movement.
But history must be preserved responsibly.
Legacy must be protected without manufacturing controversy.
Honour must be given without overstepping boundaries.
And personal convictions should not be presented as though they are the decisions of others.
So, with respect to everyone involved, let us remember:
If you are outside the palace, you may make your observation. You may offer your advice. You may make your recommendation. But do not dictate what must be done inside the palace.
Give your opinion.
Own your opinion.
Make your recommendation.
Then have the humility to step back.
Those entrusted with the responsibility will decide.
Because ultimately, not every opinion requires implementation.
Not every recommendation requires acceptance.
Not every disagreement requires a battle.
And, most importantly, not every battle is yours to fight.
Sometimes wisdom is knowing when to speak.
Sometimes wisdom is knowing when to listen.
And sometimes wisdom is simply knowing when to say:
“I have said my own. Let those responsible handle theirs.”
And yes, with all due respect:
Mind your business.
