For the past two weeks, we’ve been discussing different aspects of this topic, and I believe it’s opened up your mind to some things you’ve hitherto ignored or taken for granted. Today, we’ll delve into another interesting aspect and I believe you’ll take the appropriate action after reading through.
If you’re yet to read the previous articles, kindly do so, so we’ll flow better.
Some specific areas where you need to take responsibility for your life before you say “I Do” (Cont’d)
- Your financial independence: Now is the time to become intentional about your finances – earn, save, invest. If you’re a lady, quit waiting for some Prince Charming to come and ‘save’ you! As a Single, male or female, you should study, think and research ways of creating wealth with your ‘hands’, either in paid employment or as your own boss. Your hands here refer to the knowledge, skills, experiences, expertise and talents you have acquired or discovered in your stay so far on earth. With the current Covid-19 pandemic ravaging our world, it is apparent that we are already in the future of work, hence you need to invest in becoming valuable in the relevant areas in today’s world.
Even if your father is a billionaire, you should still learn the rudiments of creating and managing wealth; and not just sit and squander what has been piled up. Start now to practise how to live on a budget and stop impulsive spending. Start now to consistently save a percentage of your income and then invest the accrued sum at intervals. Stop giving excuses that you earn too little to save. “If you can spend, you can save.” Piggyvest is a good and safe platform for saving and investing your money, no matter how little. I use it and it’s been very beneficial. You can learn more about it with this link: https://piggyvest.com/l/2a05b73 (Optional)
- Your relationships and social network: No matter how introverted you are, you will still find yourself in some level of relationship with others, from the informal relationship between family members, friends, neighbours, classmates, etc.; to the semi-formal relationship between acquaintances; and the formal relationship between business partners, work colleagues, bosses, supervisors and subordinates.
People are important, critical even, to our life’s progress and fulfilment. A great man of God I hold in high regard, Apostle Joshua Selman Nimmak, once said: “Anything money can buy, relationships can pay for it. If you pay for everything you need with money, you are not wise.” This is so true! As a Single, the ability to rightly manage every level of relationship, is a critical life skill you should learn.
The way you treat others, speaks volume about your character. Hence, you must learn to respect everyone, regardless of their age, gender, race, religious affiliation, financial or social status. Don’t be puffed up. Don’t be rude. Learn to smile, be courteous, apologize, and forgive.
One great way to build your relationships and grow your social network, is by taming your tongue and seasoning your words with grace. This is because, the quickest way to destroy any level of relationship, or kill a potential one, is through what you say to, about or against the other party.
Next, take advantage of the social media and publicly celebrate the people in your life especially during their birthdays or when they achieve a milestone like gain admission into school, graduate from college, mark an anniversary, win an award, etc.; this goes a long way in strengthening your relationship. Take advantage of IM (Instant Messaging) apps like WhatsApp, Messenger, Instagram, Telegram, to keep in touch with them on a regular basis. Also, make conscious effort to reply ASAP when they take the first step to chat you up; it is called instant messaging for a reason. Stop being too busy to give quality attention to your loved ones. Don’t let the saying, “You never know the value of what you have until you lose it,” come true in your life.
In life, change is the only constant thing, hence, sometimes a good relationship can go sour; or you may just need to part ways with some persons due to reasons which are not necessarily bad. No matter how awry a relationship goes, never feel too proud or right, to apologize or make peace with the other party. And if you must part ways, do so peacefully. Be it in a formal setting e.g. when you resign from a job; or in an informal setting e.g. when you break up with a close friend. Always end things honourably. No matter how hurt you are, how wronged you are, how right you are to display your anger, please bear in mind that you have no control over what happens to you but you are in full control of how you choose to react. Think about this and remember to never burn any bridge. You or someone dear to you may need to walk that bridge in the near or far future.
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There you have it, the six critical areas you need to take responsibility for your life before you say “I Do”!
One of the proofs that you love yourself, as well as whomever you choose to marry, is your consistent commitment to your personal development. It is called PERSONAL development because it is a development you have to undergo for and by yourself. And doing so in these six areas will greatly help and give you an edge, both now you are Single and after you get married.
If you still feel the government, your parents, your pastors, your teachers, your friends, your exes and any other external person or thing, is the reason why you are where you are today, then by all means, please do not get married yet. Marriage is for responsible adults. Quit waiting for some spouse that you’ll hang all of your baggage on.
How can you claim to be capable of taking responsibility for another human being – your future spouse; and the off-spring(s) your union will birth (not to mention the in-laws and friends you will inherit), if you are still pushing the responsibility of your own life to others?
A word, they say, is enough for the wise. I believe you are wise.
If you need help or have any questions, please feel free to say so in the comment. Wishing you the very best of July! Don’t forget to stay safe and connected to the only source of true love – God.
ChinyereDistinguished
